Fear Factor

Not sure since when, I fear going to work. I fear getting out of bed in the morning thinking of my work day and things to do, things to finish.
I begin to feel really meaningless to keep doing a job that I hate. I do not feel any sense of satisfaction. I do not feel any sense of belonging or any remote sense of this industry I am in. I feel...so out of place.
What has happened to me? I know I need money = that is why I worked. This is making me breathless. I am attempting to change a new job in a new industry. Alas, all my friends and even my family do not support me. I have to take a very very big pay cut. I have to be realistic. But really, the agony of going to work everyday is like.....a death sentance hanging by my head. The drift is real.
I do not want to end up a loony bin. I do not want my child to grow up without a mother. Please. My Fear Factor = going to work everyday. Now I have fainting spells in office. I get fast heart beat with total breathless at times. I get gastric upset that I never have before. I get running stomach when I am sure I did not eat anything wrong.
Help.........

XXX

Day XXX of feeling self-pity and despair.
Saw footages on TV-typhoon in Taiwan, China blowing houses away...killing many people..our angry Mother Nature taking a hit back at us....earthquake in Tokyo....H1N1 deaths everywhere....OMG...what the hell is going on??
Trying to find some work that I can do from home and earn some $$$....all bogus data-entry jobs....sigh....life sucks...
A friend is in trouble...cos of $$$...all because of her roomie....sigh.....she even sold her house to clear her roomie's debts....and then her roomie now has more debts....sigh....she super want to jump already....i cannot help her...feeling damn more depressed....
Day XXX in the rat race.....goodbye...and out...

Life sucks!

I hate my life! I hate my job! I hate myself! Argh! Frustrating and life sucks! Nothing is right! Noting is correct! Nothing is good! What the hell am I doing here??

Am I a maid at home? Am I a clerk ini th office? Am I a bore to my friends? Bloody Hell! What am I doing with my life????

Sucks! Makes me wanna puke and spit at Life in the face.....telling Life to get lost!

I HATE IT! I suck at work! I suck at housework! I suck at sports!

Throw me away!

I need a vacation!

Hmm...planning to go somewhere in June...otherwise my leave will never get cleared in time!
But i need cheap and good ideas.......anybody???
Can i go somewhere for a week for less than SGD1000 for 3pax??.......and please not Sentosa or Ubin.......I need to fly out.........
Friends say I can bloody dream on.............sigh......

Me IT idiot....

Seeing the beautiful blogs created by Boozing Strawberry and UTG makes ne so envy!!! Sighh.....when can I do all that???Need alot of patience and time to search and try rite???ehahaha.......Ok! When I win Toto S$10milliion this Friday, I can rot at home and do up my beautiful blog page......ehahhahha....*dreaming*